GER – Swabian Jura

Short Beers, Long Roads: A Cheeky Motorbike Ride Through the Schwäbische Alb

Dates covered: 11.08.25 to 16.08.25

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G’day from the saddle, mates. Strap on your helmets and chuck a grin on your dial, because I’ve just wrapped up a six-day motorbike jaunt through southern Germany – the land of castles, twisties, beer halls, and enough schnitzel to sink a ferry.

This wasn’t your average “Munich, Neuschwanstein, Oktoberfest, and go home with a hangover” type of trip. Nah, this time we went for the Schwäbische Alb – a limestone plateau that most tourists wouldn’t find on a map if you stapled it to their schnitzel. But let me tell you: the Alb is where the magic happens. Empty roads, cheeky castles perched on cliffs, and valleys that look like Tolkien might’ve drawn ‘em after a few too many lagers.

We based ourselves in Ehingen an der Donau (home of more breweries per capita than you’d think possible), picked up the mighty BMW R 1150 RT – our silver-grey warhorse from 2003 – and pointed her nose at history, culture, and enough twisties to make your wrists ache.

Here’s how it all went down.

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Day 1 – 11.08.25: Aying to Ehingen (220 km of Easy Does It)

The sun was cracking the flags at 27°C, and with “no serious jobs at home” (code for: we couldn’t be bothered mowing the lawn), we fired up the RT at 11 am sharp and headed west.

Now, let’s be honest: the first 50 km felt like I’d just stolen someone else’s bike. Coming off the mighty 1250 GS Adventure we used in Italy, the RT felt… well, like your uncle’s lounge chair strapped to a rocket. Smooth, comfy, but twitchy in ways I hadn’t expected. If there was a trophy for looking like a beginner, I’d have it proudly on the mantle.

We cruised past the Starnberger See and Ammersee – two lakes where Munich’s wealthy like to pretend they’re posh Venetians. Starnberg has history too: this is where King Ludwig II, Bavaria’s “Mad King” (the castle bloke), was found floating face-down in 1886 under very suspicious circumstances. Some reckon it was suicide, others say political murder. Either way, he never got to finish all his Disney castles.

The roads westward were a delight – smooth B and C roads with barely any traffic. No Autobahn madness, no caravans driven by retirees who shouldn’t be allowed near a steering wheel. Just trees, hills, and that satisfying boxer engine hum under your boots.

By 3 pm we rolled into Ehingen, sweat dripping, leathers glued to our arms. Checked into Hotel Schwanen, which ticks all the boxes: biker-friendly, underground parking (safe from sticky-fingered kids), and – best of all – owned by a bloke who rides himself.

The afternoon? Spent in air-con, plotting routes of all things. If tomorrow’s roads ended up being garbage, I knew whom to blame.

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Day 2 – 12.08.25: Castles, Churches, and a (almost)Dead Battery

Breakfast was ace – strong coffee, proper German bread that could double as a doorstop, and cold cuts that’d put Coles deli to shame. But then the drama started.

We hit the underground garage and – boom – the RT was dead. Parking light had been, accidentally, left on overnight, and the battery was flatter than a kangaroo on the Bruce Highway.

Cue hotel owner (legend) and sauna maintenance guy (double legend) trying to jump-start the bike with a power bank, thick cables, and enough improvisation to make MacGyver proud. Didn’t work. Out comes the car, big boy starter cables, a bit of swearing – and finally, the RT roared back to life.

We rode out to the stadium parking lot to meet one of my oldest mates, who was joining us for a couple of days. Nothing like rolling up slightly late, smelling of sweat and battery acid, to greet a mate you haven’t seen in yonks.

The plan for the day? A lazy 250 km loop of castles, twisties, and the occasional cultural stop.

First up: Zwiefalten Abbey, a baroque beauty with ceilings so fancy it makes the Sistine Chapel look like a Bunnings warehouse. Built in the 17th century, the place screams “we had way too much money and time.”

By 4 pm we were melted puddles back at Hotel Schwanen. Shower, nap, salad dinner (I know, who even are we?), and a smug grin. Empty roads, zero tourists – this was shaping up to be a cracker of a trip.

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Day 3 – 13.08.25: The Blautopf and a Short Loop (164 km)

This one was a gentler loop – only 164 km – because even legends like us need a slower day.

We set off early, the air crisp and valleys misty, the roads smoother than a cold pint of Hefeweizen. South Germany in the morning is something else – forests whispering, birds swooping, and the occasional tractor driver giving you the stink-eye for doing more than 40.

We wandered about, took a few photos, resisted the urge to jump in (motorbike gear isn’t ideal for swimming), and headed back. By 11:30 we were back at the hotel – just before the sun tried to fry us alive. Afternoon: cold drinks, a nap, and pretending we were planning “serious” routes while actually scrolling memes.

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Day 5 – 15.08.25: Ehingen to Altmühltal (260 km and a Bavarian Festival)

After a rest day (read: beer, food, zero motorbike activity), we saddled up again. Four nights in Ehingen was enough – lovely spot, but it ain’t exactly Paris. Time to move on.

Things got good again in the Altmühl Valley – shady woods, twisty roads, limestone cliffs. This area’s famous for fossils too; they dug up the Archaeopteryx here, that half-bird, half-dino creature that proves evolution’s got a sense of humour.

We rocked up to friends who welcomed us with cake, Bavarian snacks, and enough food to make us loosen the belts. Evening plan: hit the Limes Fest, a Roman-themed knees-up celebrating the old frontier wall (the Limes) that used to mark the edge of the Roman Empire. Beer, bratwurst, live music – usually a blast.

This year? Bit flat. Fewer people, and the good booze bar didn’t open until 10 pm. Sorry mate, but once you’ve hit your forties, 10 pm is bedtime. We bailed, grabbed a bottle of wine, and had a far better evening sitting outside, chatting like civilised humans.

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Day 6 – 16.08.25: Altmühltal Back Home (270 km of Rain and Firefighters)

Our last day on the road. 270 km home, deliberately avoiding the boring Autobahn. Should’ve been a cruisy run through rolling hills and villages. Instead? Bucketing rain from the get-go.

Not the cute drizzle where you look moody in photos. Nah, this was “might as well shower with your helmet on” rain. Visibility down to nothing, gloves soaked, boots squelching.

We pulled into a local fire department station for cover. Absolute legends – they brought us inside, poured hot coffee, and had a laugh at our drowned-rat appearance. No photos of this day, but honestly? These little moments – when strangers treat you like family – are the best part of riding.

By afternoon we were home, dumping soggy gear in the garage, stuffing food in our mouths, and collapsing into dry clothes.

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History, Beer, and Why the Schwäbische Alb Rocks

Now, let me chuck in some proper background so you don’t think we just rode, ate, and whinged about the heat (though that’s 90% true).

The Schwäbische Alb (Swabian Jura) is a plateau stretching about 200 km across Baden-Württemberg. It’s limestone country, which means caves, cliffs, fossils, and castles perched on every second hill. Back in the Stone Age, humans here carved the world’s oldest known figurines – little mammoth ivory sculptures that are 40,000 years old. Basically, the locals invented art before Instagram was even a glint in Silicon Valley’s eye.

Castles? You can’t throw a bratwurst without hitting one. The Staufers, one of medieval Germany’s most powerful dynasties, built fortresses all over the place. Some are ruins, some restored, all dramatic as hell.

And beer – oh mate, Ehingen itself has four breweries and proudly calls itself “Bierkulturstadt” (Beer Culture City). A town with less than 30,000 people and four breweries? That’s commitment.

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Final Thoughts

Six days, about 1,400 km, countless bratwursts, and one flat battery later – this little loop through southern Germany proved one thing: you don’t need the Alps or Autobahns to have a cracking bike trip. Sometimes the quiet corners – with their castles, lakes, and friendly locals – are where the magic happens.

The BMW R 1150 RT? Once I stopped riding like a newbie, she was a beauty. Comfy, reliable (battery mishaps aside), and perfect for these kinds of relaxed, scenic rides.

Would I do it again? Too right I would. Only next time, I’m bringing a portable jump starter and maybe a snorkel for the rain.

#dustysocks